jasonjam

this morning from one am till 3am two car loads of friends went out to a high point just North of Sault Ste. Marie and watched the Leonid Meteor Shower. it was forecasted for up to 500 Meteors an hour. which qualifies it as a shower. 1,000 Meteors an hour is a Storm. it ended up being somewhere in the area of 20 - 30 meteors an hour, unless you lived in asia, where they were getting 200 - 300 Meteors an hour.


It was Brilliant.

the moon was a new one. the stars were enormously bright. the 8 of us gazed at stars and fought the biting cold for as long as we could. we left shortly after we saw one light up a trail across the sky.

the coolest bit was when you would miss one but still see it's trail bright in the sky and linger for a moment. it was as if time had stopped to let you see.


Mars was the brightest i had ever seen it.

this happens about once a year, as earths orbit passes through the rail left behind by comets. the most Brilliant one on record was in 1833 where it was said 250,000 to 300,00 Meteors could be seen an hour. it was like the heavens were raining.

Fucking Stellar.

:: this is quite a long post::

i've been living above Arcadia Coffee House since October of 2008. the Coffee House is no longer open anymore so there's some back story to give before what i want to show you.

i moved to Sault Ste. Marie with my partner Annie. we are no longer together. Although, while we were together we moved into this little apartment. it was one room with a shared bathroom. the room we moved into used to be a kitchen. it was pretty grimy. my friend Rhikee lived in it for a few months by herself and had the place full of art work and things. this space was meant to be a studio.

so when i arrived it had drop ceiling that reached to only to the top of the cupboards. so it was about a standard 8ft ceiling. one ugly florescent light that you would see in an office building in the center of the room. the closet had a ten foot ceiling with funky wallpaper.

before moving in the first thing to do was take out the drop ceiling. which poured mouse shit all over the place.

then an extensive clean up of the infected area's. taking off a thick layer of grease built up through the years.

taking out the drop ceiling i discovered that the wall came out from the actual walls of the room adjacent to us and the outside wall by about 2ft and the actual ceiling was in fact Ten Feet tall. after realizing this i knew that work needed to be done if this were to ever be anything other than a grimy kitchen.

Annie and i lived together in this small space from October till February with very little problems, although the lack of privacy and constant space sharing was wearing us down. she moved out soon before V-Day. and the space was then to be mine, where i was free to do with it as i pleased..


******the building itself is part of what is known as the Arcadia Project. The tenants upstairs ret Studio spaces. except they live in all of them. i am no exception. location and rent play a large role in why i'm still living here.

The Arcadia Project is sort of a Utopian idea of an Artist run space, that is essentially free to use. although it needs to generate some source of income to stay afloat. so a coffee shop was opened. which was great and everyone who came into the coffee shop loved the heck out of it.

it had it's up's and downs great times and hard times but eventually it feel victim to high taxes and low customer turn out. there seems to be no place for an independent business that doesn't serve alcohol in this town. it's a sad fact really.

^*^ The building itself is old and needs tons of repairs. so the owner and operator is always happy when a tenant takes initiative and does what they can to fix up the place.

i have a knack for Renovation work. i like to work with my hands. and the impending demolition helped get out any aggression i had about the recent breakup.


it was a cleansing time. i suppose. time to redecorate quite drastically.

i kinda played with the childhood idea of your dream home. but worked with just one room and mostly just by my hands. not to say i didn't have help along the way. a great number of hands have helped in some way with the construction of this place. which makes me feel like it's not really mine. i live here, sleep here, and work here. but i also pay rent for the most part. i also like to share my accomplishments.




through early drawings i realized that i had a long way to go before this was going to be a place i could call home.

my first step was to dismantle the cupboards and shelves. Next i broke down the two walls that didn't even extend to the ceiling. i discovered many a rodent skeleton in the walls as well as a hidden window, Opening the room up to more sun light.

soon after that i remained quiet for a week or so. living a normal life thinking of what i could do to it. finally deciding on taking down the lath and Plaster walls and ceiling. an undertaking that i knew would be quite some fun. deconstruction is a therapeutic process.

so i worked on my room and worked downstairs in the Arcadia coffee shop and went to school full time and stayed at friends houses because my room was unlivable for two weeks.

soon i arduously took a wire brush attachment for a hand held drill and sanded down every brick on the outside wall, until they looked brand new and not black.

the next task became the new dry wall. which took some time to get so i lived in the exposed room until that took place. rewiring needed to be accomplished so that there would be enough outlets for my electrically consumed life.





window into the garden below.


more to come...

so i've been hard at work for two weeks now on this silly treeplanting gallery show. it's set up like a science center more than it is an art show. today it goes down.

i've also been working on super 8mm film for animation purposes. super imposing drawings on exposed film. if i had a light table i could probably take photo's of the actual film and then take photo's of the drawings and make it super weird.
\
/
these are the ideas i have. alot of work for a couple of seconds of pay off. and to perfect some thought i have that i think would look real neat. fucking cool eh?

maybe..

there's been alot of classical music in my life right now. my neighbor and friend is going to Uni for piano and he practices quite a bit, alnog with yelling at me to come check out some piece of music he likes, discussing the finer points of the piece. breaking it down to the chords and why they work together, then into the history of the music and composer it was by and why they were big at the time. like Satie.! holy fuck was that man a mad genius. crazy old mo-fo. wrote out music like it was going out of style.

a teacher of mine just came into the gallery and gave me two bags of groceries. holy craps. what a peach.

i must write to friends!!!!

http://jayisgames.com/cgdc6/?gameID=9

neat game with wicked graphics. like a next gen Prince of Persia.

by the way of things i feel like it's a summers day.
although the wind is chilling and the leaves have all given up.
this room is so bright in the cloudy day light.
have we started anew or just realized something different?
today is some time between now and forever.
this nerf blaster will knock out your sorrows and worries.
blow up them feelings of disbelief.
this carrot will show you nutritional information;
not on a pamphlet but inside your stomach.

i think.

the news of the morning was stiff backs and warm toes.

the writings are feelings of nimble fingers on the keys.

and typewritten letters to follow.

i took a walk today.

at the end of this walk i was going towards the back entrance and driveway of my apartment where i came upon a small crater looking hole, in the middle was a stone about the size of a child's fist. i was quite taken by how the stone was sitting there and immediately pronounced that it was a space stone and it was special in some way.

here is a photo of my new favorite intergalactic object. ::







as you can see there is iron deposited throughout the stone. it seems to be a solid piece. i threw it against a couple of solid surfaces. it did not shatter or crack. a magnet was put closer to the iron and stuck with some viciousness.

i was told it was asphalt by the non-believers. the ones without an imagination.

asphalt however is made of smaller bits of other stones. it's kinda heavy handed. crumbles in your hands and shatters when thrown. this is definitely not that.

however if it's not a space stone i am interested to find out what it is.

*!*!*!*!***it feels light in my hand when i hold it. like gravity affects it differently. i don't want to scientifically prove or disprove this. i think it happens more out of excitement than anything else.***!*!*!*!*!*

i say things sometimes.

sometimes i say nothing.

sometimes i could talk about everything and mean nothing.

lately i have more to say and less to talk about

talk more with less to say.

but really.

i should write more.

say all that need be said.

then go to bed.

action is always what defines someone.

it's all that anyone will remember.

like:

remember that time we sat on the stairs and watched the bubbles float out of that giant fountain in the city?

or

that time we jumped off the cliff into the lake ate sushi and went skinny dipping?

or

would you happen to remember the time we stayed up real late and drove out to some old derelict camp in the middle of the night, as it began to rain and got spooked by a fallen cross?

OR

the time we knucked so hard our hands exploded into a million bits of flesh and bone?

no?

i do.
all are true tales.




honest.


apathy for nostalgia.





i focus on making memories. when looking back on them they are all individual moments. and when pushed to divulge not one stands out more than the last. not except for the one at that moment in time. they are all rad to the core. of course they do. they all directly involve me.

center of my world.

i'm working on family films. home movies. classics of my life that i can't remember or vaguely recall from watching the films the third person perspective is so voyeuristic. you just want to watch whats going to happen next.

"no watch out. that ball is coming right for your head."

i have no recollection of trying to catch the ball out in left field in 1994. it was a T-ball league and a pop fly came over me. i was staring into my glove, day dreaming. the ball hit me in the eye and taught me nothing.

if only that footage existed.

so heres an update for anyone who cares. i'm still in BC and i don't think i'll be leaving. id like to say that coming back to toronto and doing another full term at ocad would be worth my while but i'm having my doubts. the truth is i'm a terrible slacker of a student and managed to fail my english course. which means i can't take any new courses for second year untill the english is passed and out of the way. i could go back and take only that course for the year or i could take a summer school course but id rather plant treees durring next summer....as lame as that sounds. i don't know yet. i thihnk if its possible and summer school doesnt start till august or june i'll take the class in the summer and start secoind year next september. but for now i want to get a job teaching snowboarding at banff or some small mountain town. i have'nt seen a decent snowfall for a while and BC is freaking beautiful. so.............i'm off to vancouver for a few days then to RossLand and Calgary where i'll look for work and head to banff to take the teaching course. then i'll try to get a job on the mountain where the pay is good and the snow falls down in copious amounts.

i can still make films outside of school. i don't need a degree to do that and with the saved money i plan to make a documentary on Tree plating next season from the Treeplanters perspective. there has been a documentary on PBS but that was done as an outsider looking in. i want to be the insider showing what the fuck is going on and why its so damn crazy but can be also good fun. i wonder if i can show people smoking pot? it happens alot. not that i got high every day, but it's here and there.


i don't know. we'll see.

live free.

on a wall outside the library it says: anarchy = freedumb

its all about the journey.

ergo blood and puke stains. riproaring through cosmic window panes. last night was a raw and wild display of human dumbness. utter disbelief on the dance floor. afternoon under the harvest moon. seriously the moon is out at noon. nap attacks in the librarys childrens section reading words that trail off into paper mache` prisims.

okay. let me level with everyone right now. i'm not a cunning asshole; although i may be the ladder from time to time. i really don't know anything about life or the universe or anything; i still haven't read the 4th hitch hikers guide to the galaxy books, i've read the first three and the 5th but somehow the 4th one got missed. i'm alot of talk and i'm pretty lazy, i guess i have the mindset of a hippie. i advocate the pleasures and health benefits of the green wonder weed. i enjoy a good conversation with a friend over much anything else; which can be complimented with a pint of ale or a fine american made freedom stick. the finer pleasures in life, like a wide open black sky filled with tiny dots millions of miles away only ignites the passion within fueled by electrical signals exploding into formulated words. this world is really just a silly place and i'm a silly person. i focus too much on the small details sometimes and loose sight of the overall picture. i spend alot of my time in my head instead of in the RW. the Real World. most of it is spent in the Reel World. watching stories on the television screen. routing out news through the intergalactic network, the universe of information. some people will spend so much time finding themselves they'll fail to realize that they've been there all along. i'm pretty confident with what i've grown into. i'm an awkward case at times but i like to listen as much as i like to talk, sometime more so. i am a true believer. i am in love with adventure. i hAVE Crooked teeth and i'm not ashamed! i am embarrassed and bashful, but i'll still make a fool of myself if it'll make you laugh because i like to see you smile. i don't understand everything but i want to know more. i have a lust for knowledge. i don't want to use people. i dream constantly. i usually keep my wit about me. i write alot although i feel that it's not very good at times. my lover is music, i sleep with danger. in ten years i see the world in flames and society collapsing under the wait of it's own expectations.

i am amused.



i just got the greatest hair cut ever. my mother was too shocked to appreciate it though.

i have the coolest friends in the universe. i have never met a bunch of more eccentric assholes. i mean that with the most sincerity. thank you.

it' 3:30 and i'm suppose to wake up at 4am.

i apologize for driving my mother insane at times.




you are a Robot

a computer screen lights a small dark room in an inner city apartment. a man sits at a desk infront of the screen. he doesn’t blink, he just stares striaght ahead. in a trance he doesn’t seem to notice his eye’s moving horizonatly out of his head. a gravatational force pulls them out of their sockets, floating in the space directly infront of him. They turn on thier axis to look at himself, now with out eye’s, still with the ability to see. or maybe not at all. his face is emotionless. it doesn’t react to anyhting. the eyes move about.

SMOKING KILLS

Nuclear bomb exploding into Human brain. wire frame stop motion brian. the central nervous system walks around. finds the blind man. they connect, links through his eyes. he sees again but sees everything in wire frame. the wire frame apparatus fuses with his skeleton. plant life is electronic.

there is a man who goes out durring the day and chages the bulbs for the star lights. when one goes out he climbs up to the sky to screw in a fresh bulb. he does this often, for the sky is filled with millions of stars. it’s his job. he does that. for a living.

History is a Scabbie Point
For putting Cash to sleep
Shooting up the Peanut Shit
Of all we need to keep.

i'm a little wired right now so i thought i might as well write something. give me something useful to do with my time. the book i'm reading isn't feeling so appealing. Beautiful Losers by Leonard Cohen. he had some good poems and he made some interesting songs out of but otherwise he's just fucked up and cynical. much the same way i've been feeling lately...i'm sure thier connected. theres a good quote from the book though, it's basically a chapter long. basically it states God is Magic. they are one in the same.

i have a dilemma...sorta and i don't know to talk to. i got really excited over job offer in BC today. i'll be planting tree's till the end of June and if im a good worker and make some friends i could extend that into august. i'll be making lots of money but i feel bad about leaving. if i do i miss the captain show and if they win the next round they play the opera house which is sorta a big deal. i've seen a few shows there before and its a wicked venue.

other than that i don't have too much going for me here in terms of summer employment, some standard 9-5 job making 8 bucks an hour. Fuck That. plus i like the mountains and i like hard work. at least i'm being useful and keeping myself occupied, plus i'll have a 'sick' tan. with my gohstly pale complextion maybe now i'll find true infatuation.

no matter how hard you argue the point i'll never see love as an instantaneous thing. and if so then it's like the love i have for food. i love it the moment it's in my hand on the way to my stomach. afterwards i don't think about it much or care for what it becomes. it's all just excerment.

so in terms of life desicions i choose mountains. it be a huge let down to hype mountains all year only to get offred a job right in the middle of them and turn it down. i'd be like a hypocrite or something.

i leave in four days. the working schedule is 4 days on 1 day off with something like 12 hour days planting some 1200 or more trees a day. i'll write a entry about it when i get a chance...if i get a chance.

photo documentation. 12,000 words. video footage from space. google earth it. 6 straight weeks of camping.

i have to take a bear test online to prep myself in case i see a black bear. i've been face to face with a mother black bear before, it sneezed on me, i almost cried, i was the only one who thought that having a campsite where bears live was a dumb idea. it was their land first. humans just like to drive out the wild life as it suits them. some day we will be the wild life. then what?


i'm sorry for leaving you all here. i hope your summer is spectacular.

my only regret is that i'll miss Bonnaroo.


"...and he used to be such a nice boy."

so under the influence of my sister i uploaded a bunch of pictures on my computer that i've taken over the past week. i shall show you a few of the ones that i like just for visual pleasure. once i run out of my gig-a-bit picture space i might have to start paying for this livejournal service. just for fun you know. why not?

i've reached 7000 pictures on my computer now. i took about 3 quarters of them.


here's some dumb picture ofmyself in a mirror at my apartment.


i moved most of my crap to Ridgeviller so now my room up there consists of a book case and a drum set, some books, paints, paper and clothing that i can make into a bed. i have no room or bed here in the 'ville'.










A moment caught in time.

i went to clifton hill with Alicia. clifton hill was sort of a drag, Alicia is pretty cool though. i took this picture of her. i like it...mostly from a distance. but i think it's interesting:










this is my sister


a bit indescript. but i like the face she gave me. so a shoved a camera in her face and captured the moment for the rest of time. or untill EMP's wipe out my hard drive.

finally this was last night at dusk. niagara Falls skate park. smooth concrete waves of easy riding and endless possibilities. i like the creative energy at skate parks. everyones doing something crazy and they're always trying to step it up untill they get hurt. then they go bigger. except for me, i'm a pussy with a long board.







i finished Animal Farm last night. i was up till 5 am but it was well worth it.

"four legs good, two legs better".

This is brought to you by the letter F. zomming close ups of peoples mouths as they sound out the letter F and words that begin with F. ef, eff-uh, fff. forest. flapppy. fjord. falling. fari. fuck. fly. flying fuck. fag. ciggarette passed. fuck. faggot. human sex. fuck. fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. forty. two. seven. three. fuck. the letter F! F is truley a wonderful number. this will forever be known as the day of. F.
many wonderful little voices are saying f from countless t.v. shows from around the world directed to young children all calling out the letter F.
To the beat ya'll. don't let that beat drop, and it don;t stop. we at the party rock. you're world! their trying to break through into our world.
fish. fire, fairy. fillet. fry. fusion. fission. fandangle. fungle. fungi. float. follow. fair. forray. fled. flog. for. the. good. of. the. Eviroment.
a crowd of gentiles; "FUCK!". the. Enviroment.
The system. the system fight the system from the inside out. gain entry into it's conglomorative process into the disturbee'd minds of the 20th century. you know as well as i do that F is the letter that you utter the most. ef is the sound of the fig as it hurls towards that dot on your forehead.


it's summer now and i have to find a job. FUCK. good hard work for three solid months working every day. Not that i really mind. it has to be done. i need to make money. i have to pay for tuition, books, room/board, all that fun emancipated survival responsibility crap. i love the summer months. it'll be good for me considering for the last week or so my days have consisted of,


Alot of this:


and this:


reading a fine book under the shade of a tree, or within the comfort and saftey of being up in a tree. sitting on a branch above everything else.

i probably won't get too much reading done this summer...if i go tree planting that is.

i recently finished Invisible Monsters by Chuck palahnuick. Now i'm into Animal Farm.

for those of you who read this rediculous post and like graphic novels/animal related stories you should check out WE3. "we three". interesting story line, cool art. cute fluffy animals in robotic suits of armour that vastly improve their capabilites, brought to you by the US Military's scientific experimental weapons reseach and development animal sector division; because who else would put money into alternate forms of fighting power then the ones who feel seperation anxiety when their gun is not at their side and always feel the need to be in a relationship/war. maybe that metaphor doesn't quite work. thats what it looks like in my eye's.










call me doggy.

dntel - life is full of possibilities

{Album]

i'm fighting to stay awake. my thirst for knowledge is unquenchable. if you subsitute knowledge for water.

XJCOREX, gfranko unit 0 says:

I SPend the whole night online talking to my cool friends. they are all online. my life is online. a computer generated dream world filled with the most unimaginable entertainment. i can live vicariously through my computer and i rarely have to interact with anybody face to face because my own world is far more advanced than anything that i've encountered on land, vis-a-vis the internet is 133t. thats right kids. you don't need school cause you can learn everything those shit heads teach you in the classic schooling system in half the time and you'll never be bullied. learning center 2.0!
you'll also never learn the basics in human development and inter species interaction.
i am a product of my own generation. generation I. the international conglomeration of L33T bastards that own the n00bs like Jesus owns peoples souls. the generation of Tech geeks who spend their days locked inside of thier rooms pwning n00bs and drinking coke. our drug of choice is a DDR mat, a playstation 2 and Dolby Digital Surround Sound, so i actually feel like i'm stomping those fucking Arrows. fucking arrows man, it so simple. so fucking genius. a generation where i'll never have to pay for porn again, nor will i see another living woman, mostly because i don't leave my room. the generation of the soulless, the ego drivin fuck offs. sonsofbitches.

please take your time.



inhale








exhale







i take my time.





repeat if nessecary






[End Transmission]

see this...


it's now in my room.


do you notice the numbers?

these pictures were taken right before i took it. it was at 12:23 am on friday the 13th. i didn't really plan this. i was also drinking. i took me three days to get the courage and tools to do it.

We live in strange times.
We also live in strange places: each in a universe of our own. The people with whom we populate our universes are the shadows of whole other universes intersecting with our own. Being able to glance out into this bewildering complexity of infinite recursion and say things like, 'Oh, hi Ed! Nice tan. How's Carol?' involves a great deal of filtering skill for which all conscious entities have eventually to develop a capacity in order to protect themselves from the contemplation of the chaos through which they seethe and tumble.
- Douglas Adams

========i've been sitting in a computer lab for a good 4 hours now; editing a film. it's crazy and kenetic like most things i make. it's done along to Venitian Snares, so IDM music. it was going rather smoothly for the longest time. then it crashed and i lost all my work after 2 hours. so the re-re-edit isn't as good as the first re-edit but good enough to hand in. sonofabitch. save EVERYTHING, all the time and you'll never loose anything.

it's only a teaser to the actual explosion. hopefully. i'll see how far i can milk this before i get physically ill.

we'll see. you tell me. i'll release over the internet.....maybe.

when you stop trying to live up to peoples expectations you start living.